If you don't know my story and I am on a good day,not tired,no pain,you will not notice it..I think.
I walk a bit funny...I can't run or jump...if you push me down I scream like it's the end of the world on my way down!!I am terrified that I may hurt my legs and have to go back through what I have been in my teenage years.My legs are my deepest insecurity,my weakest point.There...it's out!You know it!:)
I will share my story with you...because I still don't really know the reason way God made it happen this way...and maybe sharing it with you..may help someone...
When I was nine years old, I started having really bad pain in my hips,it slowly got to the point were I could not sleep,I would wake up in pain when trying to roll over in bed in my sleep.The doctors called it "growing pain"...I was 9, and it sounded stupid to me too...I did not see any other kid walking in pain,crying on the street....It got worse...if I would walk in to an quite room,you could hear my hips making this popping noise...it didn't hurt that much anymore...or I got used to it...At 14 I went to see a great doctor that my mum found and he knew what I had...get ready.........dislocated hips...it is some what common for baby girls to be born with this condition...if detected at birth, or in the few months after, it can be easily fixed without surgery.When I was born in Romania...they didn't test me or any other baby girl for it.I was born in 1985 in a communist country at that time.
My hips were in a pretty bad shape,for walking around with dislocated bones...I had to have surgery,and stay in a cast for 4 months,from my chest down to my ankles.After a year of recovery,my knee caps started to pop out like 5 times a day,I would put them back my self and keep on walking...it did hurt the first few times.I knew something was wrong...but I didn't want to go back to the hospital...until my knees started to get swollen and hurt...I have gotten fluid from all the popping(it sounds funny:)).So I had to have my knees fixed...and stay in a cast for 2 more months.Because I didn't get my hips fixed when I was a baby and I walked like that,I got osteoarthritis ..it usually happens after 45 years old...I got it at 10 or 11....I have pretty big scars on my hips and knees...I hate them and
love like them at the same time...I really don't know how I would
have gone through all that pain,because let me tell you,it hurt
not only going through 5 surgeries but the recovery was
the most painful thing!I was so blessed having my mum with me (my
father was in jail... for drinking and driving...that's a different story...that I don't
think I will ever fully tell.)and God.I depended on God for everything,I was so weak ,but He
was so strong for me.I kept a journal at
that time and I can see now looking back how blessed I am,I have all that I
asked God for:I can walk,I have a family that I always
wanted,a family that loves God!God is good!He keeps His promises,you may not see
it now,but He can see the
future,He will get you through it!
This is me and one of my favorite Bible verse :
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
He made me more tough..I may have a weak body...but that will go back to the dust any way...my soul,my hart is strong.My scars remind me of all that.Maybe I needed them to be the person I am today.I know that everything happens for a reason..I may not understand it now ,here on Earth,but I imagine my self walking one day with Jesus and Him telling me Why....
I don't really like talking about all that with people...I don't want to think of me like I'm week ...I am not..I can keep up with my girls just fine!They walk nicely next to mummy and I don't have to run after them...daddy has the running part covered when we go to the park.
That's it...my not so big deal story:))I really hope it encourages some one out there....
PS sorry for any bad grammar...I am a Romanian living in UK...keep that in mind!:)